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"Well," she said. "You have some very common sense ideas about men and women—how they interact, and how to maximize that interaction for intimacy and enjoyment of each other sexually and in other ways—that seem to have been overlooked/lost/not emphasized, even almost purposely squashed in our society today.
"Those ideas set off a physical chain reaction in me that made me feel more feminine, inspired me to express my femininity, awakened feminine desires, and as you experienced for yourself, put me in touch with what I wanted you to do to me to satisfy those desires.
"Plus, in listening to your outlook on male/female dynamics, I was left with a palpable sense of your masculinity and my femininity, and how much of a turn-on our differences in this arena are, and I just think other men and women could really stand to finally handle the truth!"
Cool! Well, thanks, for that, sweetie. Now, between you and me, I think she might be biased, but I wrote this book anyway, to share:
(1) a personal philosophy and belief system about relationships and sexuality,
(2) a concept of masculinity and femininity that works for me and my girlfriends,
(3) my personal compatibility and selection standards that keep me happy and get me the women I want,
(4) behavioral guidelines for my relationship that keep me guilt-free and living true to my self,
(5) private sex practices that keep me young, strong and virile, and make my girlfriends say the things they do,
(6) my positions on monogamy, marriage, gender roles, porn, kinks, fetishes, and biological wiring that allow me the freedom to love others honestly and, most importantly, to love true to my self! And all of this, is supported by:
(7) input and feedback from the women I date, through their actual conversations, interviews, emails and letters!
In other words, I wrote this book to share things you'd get to know, things you'd need to know, as well as criteria you'd have to meet, if you want to be my girlfriend! And since the suggested goal was to satisfy women, men are invited to take notes and follow what resonates with them. Women may simply complete and submit an application!
Now, once I started my research for this book, people asked me if I intended this to be a "how to" manual for men.
While I won't go so far as to say that this is applicable to every man in society, I will say that these changes in my own living and loving were necessary because of what I observe and interpret as shortcomings, flaws, errors and outright lies in the belief system that informs the overall state of relationships in our society. Those observations led to a set of questions I had to answer for myself:
Who am I?
Because we operate from a self-concept that is either incorrect or incomplete, and thus cannot live true to the self if we do not understand who that self is.
What is love?
Because we do not understand the basis of attraction and strive for ideals that may be impractical, or non-existent.
Why do I love?
Because we structure or allow others to structure our relationships in ways that contradict what we really want.
Whom do I love?
Because we choose partners with whom we are fundamentally incompatible.
How do I love?
Because we engage in relationships and intercourse in ways that limit our pleasure
When do I love?
Because we interact for durations of time that undermine our happiness.
Where do I love?
Because we reside and remain in locations and environments that do not support our wiring or the fulfillment of our desires. .....
"Dexter Style is a vegan, minimalist revolutionary Jamaican nomad with a weakness for Asian women. His purpose on the planet is to master the female psyche."
"meet, match & master"
"sort, don't settle!"
"love, lie to, or lay"
"WTF??" (it's not what you think!)
"Dexter's Big Boat Club"
"man up or move on!"
"This book has some nice ideas about the author's notion of masculinity in a Western culture either dominated by feminity or more accurately dominated by women acting masculine. But it has some flaws.
The author makes clear from the start that the ideas contained are his alone and do not need to be justified, then spends much of the book justifying them. He also has a couple of obsessions that get annoying. For one, apparently small, well proportioned feet are a non-negotiable, and key to determining a woman's suitability. Also one of the keys toward keeping your woman happy is having a "big boat" and the author is more than happy to tell you often that he is a member of the big boat club - lol!
But other than these and a few other annoyances, it's a nice easy read and has refreshing ideas about being masculine in a society that no longer values or teaches masculinity. He also emphasizes his dom nature and fondness for sub women, which resonated with me. It's a nicely done description of that dynamic which is often forgotten in today's society; that many women like being submissive in matters of sex and love. "--D. Weisbord, Portland Oregon from the Amazon.com website
[re: Chinese version] "I just spent a whole day and read it!
I think some part is interesting, for example, you like beautiful small feet, and how second toe is longer than the first toe, which means this woman is more aggressive.
I agree with you, because I just found out my second toe is longer than the first toe!
I thought about my "type" because of your book, I think I am D type, and want to be 51% in a relationship. I think for most people, however, some of your mind is too crossing the line, and sometimes can make people unconfortable. You can agree that, people want different things, you think the most important thing is get yourself free, but most of other people don’t.
There are obsolutely some people, who likes to take care of children, who wants to enjoy cooking for his wife, it is not also for conmitment, but also for fun and happiness."
–"Nicole" in Beijing